Their no doesn’t mean they’re defiant. But you weren’t taught to see your child that way.

What do I do when my child won’t listen?

Chances are you grew up in a generation where you were meant to be seen and not heard. Be the good girl. Do what you’re told. Get the approval.

And now it’s come back to bite you in the butt. You’re the parent, and when your child says no, that old rule kicks in before you’ve even had a chance to think. I need them to listen to me, just like I had to listen as a child.

What is your child learning about love?

Beneath the no’s, the anger, the fighting, and even the hitting, there’s a child learning what unconditional love feels like. Can I say no? Can I get loud or be angry and still be loved?

When I look at this through the heart chakra, that’s the question I pay attention to. When influencers and so-called parenting experts tell you to use timeouts so your child sees you as the authority, I want you to think about what being sent away might teach them. They may come away thinking, I get to be close to Mom when I’m good.

When you learn to read your child, you can start to see what they’re actually asking of you in the moments when they say no, get loud, or resist. You can hold a limit and stay connected while you figure out how to support them. This is why reading your child’s energy is essential when you’re raising a sovereign child.